Ahthur on Ahnuld (20100227)

Arthur Seidelman

Director Arthur Seidelman speaks at the Jim Jarrett Studio, San Francisco. Seth Rosenblatt (c) 2010.

Arthur Seidelman has been directed more films, plays, and TV shows than you realize. He was also the first person to direct Arnold Schwarzenegger, although he swears he didn’t have a hand in casting him. I got to listen to him speak to a small group at the Jim Jarrett studio in San Francisco over the weekend, and he re-iterated that most important of lessons: follow your dream, and work hard at it.

Actors need to hear that lesson repeatedly, apparently, given the business-oriented nature of their Mecca, but it’s not a bad lesson to keep at the front of your brain, no matter what you feel your calling is. It’s even harder to remember during this Great Recession, when food and health become acutely more pressing than art, but perhaps that makes it even more important.

However, I’d be remiss in my duties if I didn’t recount that I asked Mr. Seidelman about Arnold. It was apparently Seidelman’s film directorial debut, as well. He said, in a far funnier manner, that the Governator was a charming man. He also reminded us that it was he who was quoted in Newsweek on the Governator’s political triumph as having said that Ahnuld was as suited to being governor as Gray Davis was suited to being an action star, but that he and Arnold had remained friendly.

It’s so good to know that the Governator has friends. And now, back to the dream.

Burn it down (20100103)

For 21 years, a small group of San Franciscans have gathered on Ocean Beach to symbolically expurgate the previous year’s woe by collecting discarded Christmas trees from around the city and setting them on fire.

As rituals go, the Post-Yule Pyre isn’t too far from various pagan ceremonies. People of all ages gather for the event, which is brief by necessity and by science. Christmas trees are dried husks, and they burn fast. Also: throw several dozen dead trees in a pile and ignite them, and good luck not attracting the police – even if you are at the southwestern corner of town, on a dark beach.

There were young children that parents kept a respectful distance from the flames, and there were heads of gray hair a good deal closer. I didn’t know anybody there, but when we met up at the Java Beach Cafe – the latest resting place of the last of the Doggie Diner heads – it became apparent that this would have more than a couple dozen folks. As a group, we dragged the gathered trees to the beach, and invited the curious onlookers to leave their living rooms and join us. The waning moon had not yet risen, and the tide was on its way in, so we were bereft of both light and the heady smell of outgoing salt water.

This wouldn’t last long. The trees were piled up and people fell into a circle around them, and the light waft of pine needles was soon replaced with smoke and the roar of the flames. We could see the steam evaporating from the wet sand beneath the pyre, adding a slightly ethereal quality to the event.

I didn’t notice the police presence until they gruffly asked us all to leave, but apparently they’d been watching us for some time. This blog post summarizes the event nicely, and why it’s a carbon-neutral event.

As quickly as we had gathered the trees and built the pyre, we dispersed. Some went for drinks at the Riptide, and the majority of us went home. My 2009 wasn’t the horrible-no-good year that others have had, but it wasn’t great. Maybe a little ritualistic fire is all the spark that 2010 needs to get going.

Oh, and for what it’s worth, the second photo above was picked as SFist’s Photo du Jour, and featured by Laughing Squid, too.

Car 798: The Last Photo of 2009 (20091230)

Car 798 of Duboce Yard first came to my attention during the holiday season of 2008. I bike past the yard every day on my way home from work, as many San Franciscans do. If you’re heading west, on the left is a mural marking the sights you see transversing the City. The Duboce Yard is one end of The Wiggle bike path, a series of right-angled turns that minimize the incline between Church Street, the Castro, and the Mission with the Panhandle, the Sunset, and the Richmond. Car 798 is usually an nondescript railcar, and if it’s due for the road there’s a lot of work to be done.

The railway car depot is off of Market, just as Buchanan begins its climbs up and down the city’s hills as it heads north. Trapped behind a black fence, Car 798 is only visible if you head straight at it, and although a few people walk the path between the head of Buchanan and the foot of Church Street, most of those who transverse it are commuting bicyclists.

What brought it to my attention a year ago was the destination board, listing the North Pole, and the wreath. I missed my chance to take a photo of it last year, and was pleased to find that it had returned this year. It took a week of mental reminders, but I eventually brought my camera on a ride.

The small irony of Car 798 is that, even though S.F. does experience colder winters than other large West Coast cities that shall go unnamed, it’s nothing less than a bit of holiday humor to imply that our slightly-below 50 degrees Fahrenheit winters have anything to do with the frigid cold of the North Pole.

Nevertheless, it’s hard not to appreciate that the Muni mechanics at Duboce take a bit of extra time to spruce up a car that doesn’t seem to have any intention of leaving the yard. However, its colors are red and white, which must give public transit fans from Tokyo to Amsterdam a thrill to think that Santa rides a standard gauge, and not a reindeer-pulled sleigh.

Selling Out

Mother and daughter. Ping'An, China. 2006.

It seems only fitting to announce the opening of my Etsy store in the dying hours of the last day of the decade. The augur of a blue moon wouldn’t be one to take lightly, if I actually gave two shits about idiocy like that. Instead, I will only hope for all my readers that I make the time to provide you with more stories and photos in 2010 – pronounced “twenty-ten” not “two thousand ten”, folks. Here’s to a new year, a new decade, and another opportunity to get it right.

sdf

Young boy. Guangzhou, China. 2006.

The Deal with the Neil (20090719)

Neil reads from Who Killed Amanda Palmer. Seth Rosenblatt (c) 2009.

I remember the first book I bought that was written by Neil Gaiman. I was browsing the shelves at The Funny Papers, a comic book shop in the Outer Richmond in S.F. Way out on Geary, surrounded by fog, people who loved comics, and a blissfully long commute home, I would buy my weekly stash of Batman books and occasionally sneak glances at books placed above my line of sight. I was 15.

One day, I saw a book with a stark white cover. The thin line drawing was of a San Francisco Victorian, and vibrant windows shone an orangey-gold inside that fictional house. I bought it, and devoured a strange tale of Emperor Norton I, the King of Pain, and insanity. I had met a Sandman story by Neil Gaiman, and came away completely entranced.

I would soon meet one of the Sandman artists, Mike Dringenberg, at the next Wonder-Con, and even met Neil himself briefly while at a party at Comix Experience, another excellent comic shop in S.F. Nice guy, I thought about Neil, not realizing until years later that Neil was in part known for his genuine courtesy to fans. In 2001, I would even experience that friendliness firsthand, interviewing Neil prior to an on-stage appearance he was doing with Harlan Ellison and Peter David, and just after American Gods had come out.

Neil reads from Who Killed Amanda Palmer. Seth Rosenblatt (c) 2009.

There are few writers who’ve both entertained me and inspired me as much as Gaiman has, so when I had the opportunity to help out at Comix Experience as part of Brian Hibbs’ ongoing 20th anniversary year, I wasn’t going to sit on my butt. Brian has maintained one of the best comic book shops in a city that has no lack of good ones, so I would’ve helped even if it hadn’t been Neil as the star attraction.

The first people in line had on display what popular culture has taught us since the first release of The Phantom Menace: Show up early. More than an hour before Neil was due to arrive, let alone open the doors, a handful of ticket-holders were waiting. From that point on, everything that could go wrong, didn’t. It was as flawless an event as I’ve ever seen or participated in. Neil showed up, we let the crowd in, Brian gave a little background on his friendship with Neil, Neil read, Neil signed, and about two hours after we were supposed to be finished, Neil left.

Brian has recounted much of the history in this blog post, which is worth reading simply for its unique historical perspective. However, it’s also important to note that Neil made a correction to it after Brian introduced him on Sunday morning. The gist of it was, Neil stopped Brian from ripping off the covers of a misprinted Sandman #8 with a forcible shout, and convinced him to hand them out for free. Brian took it further, leaving copies all over San Francisco with the store’s contact info inside, and the rest is history. As many tech observers have noted, and even the somewhat technophobic Brian himself has pointed out, having a devoted fanbase takes time and effort, and requires collaboration between the “star” and the reseller.

A fan shows Neil her tattoo of his baby gargoyle character Goldie, just prior to getting him to sign her arm. Immediately afterwards, she would have his signature tattooed on. Seth Rosenblatt (c) 2009.

Besides helping out Brian, the reading on Sunday was, in my mind, the real reason to lug weighty bookshelves around and play Krowd Kontrol Kop. Although, the crowd control bit we all knew was just for making the customers’ lives easier: Neil Gaiman fans are not, say, Vince Neil fans. Thankfully. Neil’s ability to read his work, both in person or as an audiobook or over the radio, is a rare talent among writers. As the FMA pointed out to me, Philip K. Dick would’ve had even more influence if he’d just hired an actor to read for him all the time. Neil, on the other hand, reads like he writes: the words flow, they sound as natural as if he were coming up with them on the spot, and even if you’ve memorized the story you’ll be happy to hear him read it to you, again.

Neil pointed out the obvious difficulties in reading from a comic book, so instead of reading from “Whatever Happened to the Caped Crusader,” he read from his other new book with a question mark at the end, “Who Killed Amanda Palmer?” When I read them to myself a few days before, I thought they were good-but-not-great examples of Neil’s ability to adapt and twist conventional tales in unconventional ways. Read aloud though, and by somebody who knows where to pause and what to tonally emphasize, made them sound more than entertaining enough to make the entire crowd forget the sweaty and cramped setting.

At just over 100 people, the crowd would’ve been happy enough with Neil reading the phone book. What we got was about 30 minutes of pitch-perfect storytelling.

The signing was no different. Neil spent significant time talking to each of the fans, and affixed his signature to a wide range of his books, a C.S. Lewis book (“The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, Not by Neil Gaiman”), and one girl’s arm. She had a tattoo of one of his characters, a baby gargoyle named Goldie, and once she had Neil’s name inked below Goldie, she ran off to Haight St. to have it done in more permanent ink. She also ran back to show us.

I think the highlight of the day for me, though, was when Neil asked Brian to sign a copy of his collection of retailer observations. Tilting at Windmills might not have the print run of The Graveyard Book, but even writers get other writers to sign their books.

How a Batman Hides His Boots (20090719)

When he’s in his civilian disguise as Bruce Wayne, just what does Batman do with his boots?

Perhaps more importantly, just what do Batman and Bruce Wayne and their podiatrical dilemma have to do with this mostly-travel blog?

Today the FMA and I helped out our good friend Brian Hibbs host Neil Gaiman at his comic shop, Comix Experience. The store is renowned as one of the best comic book stores in the world, and with good reason: Brian understands the perfect balance of catering to the customer while offering one of the most diverse selections of sequential storytelling ever seen. His is the Strand of comic book stores, where the comic book staple of superheroes gets no more than equal billing to other genres, although they’ve got superheroes, too. Calling Comix Experience a comic-book heaven would belabor the point, but be no less accurate. Just as importantly, Brian’s was one of the first shops, although not the only one, to treat comics as more than superhero vehicles.

I will have more photos and perhaps a few more stories to tell about today later this week, but I wanted to to share this one now. The FMA and I, Brian’s employees, and several others longtime customers were assigned various tasks to help rearrange the store for Gaiman’s short-notice reading and book signing. Since I tend to be good with the low brain-power tasks early in the morning, I helped lift and move bookcases. The FMA, less well-suited to that kind of drudgery than I, was assigned to make sure that Neil’s various whims were catered to. Much to my surprise, Hessian sacks and live kittens were not required. English breakfast tea, on the other hand, was.

At one point, the FMA and another lovely friend-or-employee of Brian’s named Shannon were milling about in the storage area behind store as Neil visited the restroom to graffiti the walls. No, really: it’s customary in a comic book shop to have visiting authors and artists leave a physical imprimatur on the store. Nobody said this, but I understood: On a Sunday morning, at 10:30, there is no thought that consumes one’s mind as voraciously as the desire to consume bacon, to crawl back into bed, or, failing that, to doodle above a bathroom sink.

During a conversation about comics in general, Shannon asked the FMA if she were much of a Batman fan, since the signing was timed with the release of Gaiman’s “Whatever Happened to the Caped Crusader?” deluxe edition. The FMA replied that she sort of wasn’t, at least of the comics themselves, and the conversation soon turned to how the Dark Knight was ever able to make those quick costume changes in elevators and other confined spaces. Superman was logical, if you accepted the premise: he’s Superman, and he can do anything. Batman was a character whose success depends on a veneer of being a bit more realistic.

Having discussed the merits of modern, easy-to-compress fabrics and how they relate to a Bat-suit, Shannon and the FMA had moved on to the thorny issue of the boots. While trying to figure out how butt-kicking boots could be reconciled with the leather boardroom shoes befitting the CEO of Wayne Enterprises, a voice called out from the restroom. Neil had adjourned from his drawing to announce, from behind the closed door – which, by the way, was emblazoned with a full-length face of Matt Wagner’s Grendel, painted by the man himself – that Bruce Wayne simply kept the boots rolled down while in billionaire playboy socialite mode, and rolled the boots up when he needed to keep the blood off his argyle socks.

Now, I know that Gaiman is a brilliant writer, and judging by his 795,000+ Twitter followers (at the time of writing), I’m not alone. But I’ve spent 30 minutes this evening trying to roll my Harley Davidsons down from mid-calf, and I’m here to tell you: It just can’t be done.

UPDATED: The FMA pointed out that I got some minor details wrong in retelling the story, and those have now been fixed.

You are @b1g1nj4p4n

Short updates, focused on the now, telling you what’s going on in brief bursts and why: that’s what Twitter is about. One-hundred and forty characters to get your point across in what used to be called microblogging or moblogging, but has social networking features and is desperately, gloriously imperfect. If you’re like me, you’re a cynic, so you won’t like this: Twitter is a good start.

Most of the people who read this blog read it because they are personal acquaintances of mine, and they’re whom I write it for. I started blogging to cut down on the ridiculousness of spamming my friends and family with stories of leaving the United States and living in Japan, and even though I love the fact that strangers can find my True Stories of Travel Gone Wrong, there is only one reader that I really write for: me. I try to cram so much into these ridiculous 24-hour chunks, it’s shocking that the FMA puts up with my obsessions at all.

Anyway, at my current day job, it’s my responsibility to make otherwise complicated or obtuse software accessible to the average computer user. But here? Despite the paucity of my appearances over the past year, I’ve enjoyed the heck out of it. You and me, in this odd joint endeavor, are closing in on seven years of Big in Japan in August. There’s a new skin on the blog that I’m in the process of tweaking. It’s only the third or fourth full re-design I’ve had in the life of the blog, so I hope you enjoy it, but I want to make it clear that I’m back and blogging full time.

(If you’re curious, the Japanese calligraphy in the upper right corner comes from a photo I took at an exhibition of pro-am calligraphy in Ueno, Tokyo, of which one of my English students was participating.)

However, this post will go somewhere – it’s going to Twitter. Do not be afraid of the big T, which has become so popular that even a brain-dead doofus like Ashton Kutcher or his publicist can figure it out. Right there, that’s a big strike against: If Ashton Kutcher cares, why should I? Turns out, though, that Twitter is superb at doing the one thing it was designed for, and that’s Conveying the Now. You want capital-N Now? You go to Twitter and search. You want 18, maybe even 24 hours ago? Check out CNN.

But you know this. You’re savvy. Twitter still seems like a giant fustercluck of an information dump, and it is – don’t mistake it for anything else. So you follow only the people that you find useful. It’s so new, there’s no established etiquette. This is not your invitation to start typing in capital letters. PLEASE, NO.

As in public or in private, you should behave similarly on Twitter: Don’t be a dick.

It is, however, a great way to cruise on a wave of breaking news. If you’re Amanda Palmer or one of the relatively few others who’ve hit whatever the minimum critical mass of devoted followers is required, it is also possible to make some money via Twitter. Looking at Palmer’s example, while she was getting the shaft from her record company, she was able to auction everything from wine bottles to used dildos to T-shirts to make her rent. Don’t misread me, though: Unless you’ve got something to say in addition to the legitimate, individual followers to support you, money is currently exceedingly hard to wring from the tweeting (twatting?) stone. But it can be done, and the future of making money from art will be like making money from news – from a heady and diverse mix of sources.

If you’re looking for more frequent updates from me, I’m also on Twitter at @b1g1nj4p4n. Twitter, despite what you might think about it, is a useful tool. It cries out for private, closed-network support, but it’s essential the same as the moblogging I used to do on my Japan blog but with social networking features.

The lesson, or as marketers say in their idiotic butchering of language, the “take-away” is that interesting things happen on Twitter all the time because it is of the Now.

The Stranger’s Paul Constant wrote up an analysis of Twitter that’s excellent despite its obvious reliance on Twitter’s arbitrary character-length conceit.

One section that stood out:

Writer Dan Baum (@danielsbaum) wrote a long-form Twitter essay, broken up like this essay, about his awful experience working

on contract for the New Yorker. He called the office “creepy” and “strained.” It was the most candid look inside the magazine

since Brendan Gill’s Here at The New Yorker.

New Yorker reporter (and avid Twitterer) Susan Orlean (@susanorlean) responded to Baum’s feed in the magazine’s defense. She ended it:

“Time to cook dinner & leave the journalistic hair-pulling nude wrestling match, much as I have enjoyed it (especially the nude part).”

It was no Vidal vs. Mailer, but it was the closest thing to a real literary battle I’ve seen in years.

The fact that people can disagree and argue in real time on Twitter is important. It removes the ponderous formality of publishing.

And the arguments are delightfully public, for anyone to see. Twitterfighting isn’t a verb yet, but I hope it soon will be.

There are other uses, too. Astronaut Mike Massimino (@Astro_Mike) constantly Twittered during a mission to repair the Hubble telescope.

“From orbit: We see 16 sunrises and sunsets in 24 hrs, each one spectacular as the sun lights up the atmosphere in a spectrum of colors.”

Twitter is both useful and asinine, frivolous and a source of income and probably both more and less, and all at the same time. As Constant points out, the only mistake to make with Twitter is to ignore it.

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